3am / by Sean Beauford

it's 3am in the morning (no eminem) and i find myself idly looking at twitter because i can't sleep and i realized that i follow mad people that i know in real life that i don't interact with anymore. some for good reason and some because life just took us in different directions, which also may have been for good reason. that's what happens when you get older though, right? you lose touch, lose phone numbers, lose memories, and before you know it, you forget mugs exist. but because the internet (yes childish gambino) you're reminded from time to time, and you're still connected to these people. even if you never speak, you occasionally see what they're up to. maybe you like their pics or status updates, or wish them well in times of tragedy, or wish them a happy birthday, or get invites to their lame events. it's harder to detach yourself from things or people you should no longer be attached to.

well, not for me. the fact that i'm ghost was a sudden realization for me because i've been so focused on what's in front of me in real life and the people i see daily, i didn't see just how far removed i was from old circles. my life isn't perfect by any means but there's enough dope in it that i'm good with only paying attention to what i have and what/who is around me. i don't think about old relationships of any kind, ever. once it dies, it's dead. out of sight, out of mind, ya know. of course, there are exceptions. a couple real friends (yes kanye) that i've known for years that reside in different states that i may not speak to for months at a time, sometimes 12, but these are the people that won't hesitate to help when needed, and check on me when i'm in the hospital, and hit me up when i'm having my first child, and request my presence at their wedding, and travel from out of state to see my art exhibition. it's those people that i rock with, and neither time, nor distance, can kill our bond.

it's important to know who really rocks with you and who doesn't. when you know, you can better allocate your energy. not everyone deserves it. it's mad ok to move on from people and situations... idk why so many struggle with this. i always feel like if the situation was supposed to last, it would have.

thank God for real friends and fam.